Setember 1, 2003

Submitted by: Eric Partridge - Northern California Leather Sir 2002                                            

     To quote someone in the leather community that I truly admire, "I got something to say..."

     I know that many people read Wanda's web page who are not in the "leather community," and I hope that they find something of worth in what I am saying here that might apply to their own community or circle of friends.  But, I wanted to pass along a conversation that I had with a friend of mine a few weeks ago.  They shall remain nameless as their identity is not the important part.  What is important is what was said.

     We both see ourselves as leather men.  Men who believe in our community and have found some sort of a sense of belonging there.  They told me how they were different that those who simply wear leather because they truly live a "leather life."  That life includes the sex that they have.  Unfortunately, the sex that they have always includes crystal, speed, crank....whatever you prefer to call it.

     Let me just say something here.  If you have to get loaded or high to have leather sex.....you aren't a leather man or woman.  If you have to be altered to be able to "loosen up" for leather sex, you have none of my respect.  If you are so willing to risk the safety of yourself or the others involved because of your need to care about nothing but yourself, then you are neither safe nor respecting the other folks you are with.

     I just attended another memorial service a couple of weeks ago.  It seems that lately my funeral suit has been broken out more for people who OD than people dying from hiv related causes.  I thought I had lived through the worst plague to hit the gay community in my lifetime.  But, it seems that crystal has decided to take that position.  I have had more than one relationship ruined because of speed. 

Don't do it. 
If you do do it, be honest about it.
Realize that when you are high, you could be dangerous to others, firstly, and yourself when you participate in risky sex, or even rough sex.

I don't want to have to go to another memorial service in your honor because someone else I know and care about couldn't stop.  Care about yourself, respect yourself, and give a shit about the one's you are involved with.  Time gets shorter and shorter as we get older.  Make all of the minutes worth remembering. 

Take care of yourselves and each other.

Thanks.