July 1, 2003

(Way back) on Saturday, 9-22-2001, there was a "Hate Stops Here" rally at the Waterline in Guerneville. I attended and assisted with some parts of it. Had I not, I would have missed out on a LOT. I'd have missed a lot of information and MY understanding of what's going on around me would have been left at a mundane level. While I have to admit that I didn't agree with everything that everyone had to say, There was an awful lot that I did and even those that I didn't agree with on every point, enhanced my understanding of their issues. This "event" was sponsored by several people and businesses in the area. (And Ellen did a WONDERFUL job of putting it together!) I "heard" that some people were upset that some of the sponsors were ALLOWED to be sponsors!! (And then these upset folks don't show up at all?!?) This is the MOST idiotic thing I have EVER heard! If a business (OR person) that SEEMS to be anti-Gay, (or anti-ANYTHING) or if not that, seems to just not care, decides to help by adding it's support to an event like this, I for one think it's great! If nothing else, this kind of thing is a way for them to say that they understand and want to do SOMETHING to help or even a way to apologize for things that may have happened in the past. Once we are perfect and all knowing, we can decide to judge others and to decide why they do anything. Until then, I think we all need to be more forgiving and understanding on BOTH sides of any issue. You don't have to like or agree with something to understand it and when someone makes an effort to help, you NEVER slap them down for trying. If you do, you are far worse than the one you are trying to take down. So, taking all this into account, apply it to ALL things rather than just the few and think about whether or not you are a help or a hindrance to the (your) community (humanity) at large.

Now, "several" months later, I see many of the same problems in our little community, but the complaints have changed, the players are a new bunch and the same. I have to say that I absolutely LOVE this community and most of the people that I know here. I will also add that those I’m not particularly FOND of are still damned good people and good AT something. We all have problems and complaints, but none of us can base our lives on those problems. I find it amazing at times that people have an idea, ideal or standard that they think they can force on someone else while at the same time complain that others, say the right wing for example, are trying to force things on them. This community, and ESPECIALLY THIS community, SHOULD know better. I see "some" of the handsome bears upset with the "Absolutely Fabulous" drag scene, the (again, SOME) of the great leather community upset with the way some other group looks and so on. A few individuals refusing to even talk with someone because of how they LOOK and some of those upset that someone wants to even talk because they’re not in their little group. While running Karaoke last night at the Triple R, I had a few discussions with folks that were, to say the least, very interesting. Everything from jokes, “Now it’s legal and moral to commit Sodomy, but you can still go to Hell for lying” to “How can `so & so’ even THINK they’re likeable, let alone good looking or “doable”.

We all need to get over ourselves, our petty wants (not NEEDS) and realize that we are ALL here (whether PUT here or allowed to BE here)

To quote a group that never practices what they preach, we should love the person, not what s/he does As long as no one is hurting or being hurt, get over it. Since I moved from Washington state a little over six years ago, I have met more wonderful people than in all the previous years (number not posted on purpose) of my life and it annoys the hell out of me to see many of these folks at odds with one and another. Mostly for ULTRA PETTY reasons. This area raises more money for worthy causes than any other I’ve seen. This takes into account the number of full time residents here as well. If we can get to the point where we treat each other the way we do these causes, this area can and will be a pure Utopia. Now, based on everything I’ve said, we DO NEED to LISTEN to each other, discuss things, ideas and plans, but when we disagree, we can’t drop the people that are trying to help, nor can we be all bent out of shape if OUR ideas aren’t jumped on and followed to the “T” the way WE want. Unless you are in a “Daddy-Boy” relationship, the world is not going to do everything you demand and outside of that relationship, “It Ain’t Gonna Happen”. Remember that respect is a two way street and to be listened to, you have to listen. Hey... It really does work for ME.

If you read this, you are more than likely on that list of people that I said I’ve met and love to death. Hang in there and we’ll get things together! ALL of us!

Thanks,

An opinionated one!

Dan Hartmann